While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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