Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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