reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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