Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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