playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
