I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What drink are we having for lunch?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
