Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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