he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
