Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
