i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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