South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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