you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
