Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
