After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
