i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
