I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
