I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
