Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
