sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
