Cold hands, warm shart.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
