My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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