Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
