brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
