i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Operation Purity has been aborted
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We smell like vodka and hangover
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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