I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
