let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
