So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just gargled with NyQuil
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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