And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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