You're my little dorito
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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