Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
