The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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