john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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