saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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