This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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