I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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