Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
