why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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