you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
