a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
