I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
