Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
