She's JV to your varsity
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just gift wrapped bread.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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