Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
