After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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