people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
