You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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