I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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