here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
