The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
vagina is talking i cant
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
its liver damage thursday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
