His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
