apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
