I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
