therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Are my feet made of real feet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
